


We're All or We're Nothing

by doqeom



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Boys Kissing, Coming Out, Coming of Age, F/M, Inspired by Music, LGBTQ Character, M/M, Mentioned Qian Kun, Prom, Secret Relationship, attempted humour, chenle best friend, idk who chenle's girlfriend is, internalised homophobia :((, jisung coming out, jisung dance club, jisung loving jaemin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:16:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24928300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doqeom/pseuds/doqeom
Summary: "You're an incredible guy, Hyung. Anyone would be lucky to have you. That's why I want to tell people. I don't want you going off with someone else because everyone thinks you're single anyway - and then I lose you just like that because I was dumb and couldn't admit that I really cared about you."
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Lee Jeno, Na Jaemin/Park Jisung, Zhong Chen Le/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 56





	We're All or We're Nothing

**Author's Note:**

> an old oneshot of my favourite dream boys <3

"Cheesy."

  
  
Jisung looked up from playing with the salad on his plate. "...What is?"

  
  
Chenle shrugged. He pointed vaguely behind Jisung. "That."

  
  
The brunette glanced over his shoulder to see a group of girls annoying the living daylights out of Na Jaemin.

  
  
"They want that 'gay best friend' thing, don't they? The amount of girls that tried to get close to my brother before he found out they only wanted him for fashion advice is too many to count." Chenle laughed sourly, shoving a fist-full of fries into his mouth.

  
  
Jisung kept watching Jaemin. The elder rolled his eyes, closing his book and standing up quickly, knocking over someones milkshake on his way up. He stormed past the two on his way out.

  
  
"Anyway; who're you taking to that spring ball thing next week?"

  
  
Jisung looked back at Chenle.

  
  
_Jaemin hopefully._

"No one. I'm not going."

  
  
Chenle's eyes widened. "What do you mean you're not going? It's the perfect excuse to get drunk and hang out with Lua and her friends you know?"

  
  
Jisung did know, but he didn't want to be any part of it.

  
  
"I've got plans already."

  
  
"Ohhhh." Chenle winked. "Okay Mr. Ladies Man."

  
  
Jisung laughed lightly, shoving his tray away from him. "Yeah, sure."

-

Jisung looked up at the light sound of paper landing on his desk. He turned his head to see Jaemin smiling at him from further down the bench.

  
  
He unfolded the paper to see Jaemin's illegible writing. Squinting, Jisung could vaguely make out his message.  


_Hey, wanna hang out after school???_  
\- _jae♡_

The brunette scribbled back quickly, making sure Mr. Kim wasn't watching. 

_sure.. why didn't you just text me tho?_  
_\- jisung_

He slid it back along the desk.

  
  
Jaemin slid it back. 

_It's more romantic this way :))_ _♡♡_  
_\- jae_ _♡_

Jisung felt his hands start to sweat. Why did this feel so wrong to him? He _really_ liked Jaemin. He wanted to always hang out with him after school, and go to school dances with him even if they were shit, and be able to sit next to him and not have to talk through notes with the hope that no one will notice they even interacted.

  
  
Maybe after high school.

  
  
Jisung smiled back at him, shoving the note into his pocket.

-

  
When approaching the school gates, Jisung caught site of Jaemin waiting patiently in his car across the street. He knew Jaemin only did that because he thought Jisung was embarrassed to be seen with him.

Not that Jisung was embarrassed; truthfully he was just scared.

Scared of what people would think. Scared of what his parents would think. Scared of what Chenle would think.

He shoved his cap on, darting across the road and slipped into the passenger seat of Jaemin's car.

"Hey- how were your last classes?"

Jisung watched as Jaemin fired up the engine, perfectly pulling out to join the flow of traffic in Seoul.

"Not bad. Yukhei got a pen stuck up his nose in Chem and we had to call an ambulance."

Jaemin laughed, and Jisung felt his heart do a double take. "Again? I swear that kids been in the hospital for dumb shit more times than my brothers had girlfriends."

Jisung chuckled quietly, clicking on the radio. It went straight to Jaemin's last played - a playlist he'd made for Jisung not long after they met.

"You still listen to this?"

He glanced over to see the elder's cheeks tinted red. "Yeah, well. Specifically that one."

The song was left paused on an western song Mark had introduced to Jaemin. He'd told Jisung it made him think of him back when the two hardly knew each other. Jisung had found him really weird at first, but there was something about Jaemin that drew you in. A sense of warmness. A sense of home.

He clicked play, leaning back in his seat.

Jisung watched as a smile crept onto Jaemin's face, and the older began to hum along.

The younger simply kept his eyes on the peach haired boy for the rest of the ride, the car silent except for the quiet speakers softly playing Jaemin's favourite song.

-

Things like this often happened when Jisung was at Jaemin's. He tended to lose track of time, and then he had to make up an excuse good enough to fool his dance coach.

He was in the middle of appreciating Jaemin's kisses - the older had himself raised above Jisung on the couch, hands cupping the younger's face while Jisung ran his hands up and down the elders thighs. Jaemin kissed softly, but with an edge to it. Jisung kind of hoped maybe he'd go a little further today, but sadly the two were cut off by Jisung's phone ringing.

Jaemin pulled away, rolling his eyes yet latching his lips to Jisung's jawline anyway. "Why's your phone so goddamn loud," he muttered.

Jisung shuddered, but reached for it anyway. He answered the call, pressing it to his ear.

"Hey Hyung."

"Look - I don't know where you've been jetting off too these days, but Taeyong's pissed again."

Jisung glanced at the clock above Jaemin's fireplace worriedly- he was late.

"Shit - Renjun Hyung can you please cover for me?"

Renjun scoffed on the other line. "Fuck no. This is the fifth time this month you've skipped. We have a performance in a _week,_ Jisung. What's so bloody important you keep missing dance for?"

Jaemin stopped kissing at this, hesitating to hear Jisung's answer.

The younger was stuck for words. "I - I can't tell you."

He knew Jaemin was paying attention.

_Sometimes you gotta say fuck you to other_ _people's_ _opinions Ji. - Wong Yukhei_ _right_ _before he stood on a table in the cafeteria ready to announce he had a crush on Ten Lee but then slid right off and broke an ankle._

"I can't tell you yet Hyung. But I will, soon. I promise."

He felt Jaemin smile a little against his neck.

"Fine. But when Taeyong asks why you're apprenticing at a porn company you better have a good reason."

"A what -? Hyung, a _what-_ "

Renjun ended the call.

Jaemin laughed quietly, sitting himself down in Jisung's lap and wrapping his arms around the taller's neck.

"How soon is soon Sungie?"

Jisung felt his heart racing. He wrapped his own arms around Jaemin - the boy that made him feel happy and took care of him and gave him great kisses and wasted so much time on a boy like him who was scared to admit his own feelings - and buried his head in Jaemin's neck.

"Next week." His voice was muffled against Jaemin's shirt.

"Next week? That's kinda soon for a big thing like this. You shouldn't pressure yourself- I'll wait-"

"Thats exactly why I want to do it so soon." He lifted his head to look straight into Jaemin's widened eyes. "Hyung you... you've put up with me for so long. Even when I wasn't sure of myself you waited. You shut down a guy who would've been perfect for you because you liked me. You liking me is... insane. You pretend like we're just friends, you even stuck by me when I got a girlfriend - that was when I realised I liked you. I've waited too long to tell people how I really feel I mean... even my best friend still thinks I'm gonna get a girlfriend within the next week."

Jaemin laughed a little at this, though his eyes were rimmed with glossy tears.

"You're an incredible guy, Hyung. Anyone would be lucky to have you. That's why I want to tell people. I don't want you going off with someone else because everyone thinks you're single anyway - and then I lose you just like that because I was dumb and couldn't admit that I really cared about you."

Jaemin was crying now. "Oh Jisung-"

He began to pepper the younger with kisses, which used to annoy Jisung but now he happily laughed along, holding on tightly to the wonderful boy he could soon call his own.

-

The next friday rolled around and suddenly Jisung wasn't so sure he could do this.

He'd set his plan up perfectly - even confiding in his hopeless romantic of a friend Donghyuck to help him. Gather his and Jaemin's friends all at one table at the dance, the non family that meant the most to them and simply confess.

But yet here he was, sitting in his room dressed for the dance. Jaemin was supposed to call him any minute and Jisung's dad would give them a lift to the school.

The only fault in tonight's plan was that Jisung's dad didn't know Jaemin was his secret-kind-of-boyfriend - and Jaemin didn't know that Jisung's dad _didn't_ know.

There was a knock on his bedroom door, and it opened quickly without waiting for an answer. 

His dad peeked his head round the door. "Ready to go? I'm sure your friend is ready by now."

Judging by Jaemin's instagram post half an hour ago, he was still probably doing his makeup with his brothers friend.

"I don't know. There's no need to rush dad - he'll probably be a while -"

Perfect timing.

Jisung's phone lit up, a message from Jaemin appearing on screen.

|

 **jaemin** hey I'm ready to go when you are! x

He gulped, glancing at his dad. "Well. Uh. Time to go."

-

The car ride to Jaemin's was becoming increasingly awkward by the second.

Jisung's dad didn't like the radio, and the boy was too nervous to talk so they drove in silence.

"Whats your friend's name again?"

"Ah - Jaemin."

His dad nodded. "Na Jaemin?"

Jisung frowned. "Yeah - do you know him?"

Mr Park shrugged. "I think your mom's are friends. Lovely boy apparently. Heard Jaemin's got a lovely girlfriend."

Jisung mentally panicked. "Uh - that's probably Jaehyun. Jaemin's brother."

His dad frowned. "Oh. So Jaemin's the uh... the gay one then."

Jisung hated how his dad lowered his voice when he said the word _gay_ , yet he couldn't say he'd never done the same. "Y-yeah."

His father nodded again, glancing at Jisung. "Is he your boyfriend?"

Jisung's hands were sweating. His heart was beating ten times the speed it should be. His voice was almost silent when he spoke. "Kind of. Yeah."

His dad smiled warmly, eyes still on the road. "I knew it. When your mother told me you'd been skipping dance lessons I assumed you had a girlfriend. But then she said Jaemin's mother had seen you at her place often, so I kinda put two and two together."

Jisung's heart rate was calming now. "You're not... disgusted?"

His dad looked shocked, pulling up and parking outside of Jaemin's house. " _Disgusted?_ Jisung - you're my son. I love you more than anything. I couldn't care less who you dated- as long as you don't get pregnant I'm good."

The boy laughed quietly, staring at the closed door to the large house outside the car window. 

A light came on and he saw Jaemin appear, his white and deep pink suit illuminated by the light behind him. 

He noticed how Jaemin's hair was slicked back, how the streetlights made the glitter on his eyelids shimmer as he jumped down the steps that led to Jisung.

"Go on - be a gentleman and open the door."

Jisung nodded, scrambling out of the car only to stand in shock once he saw Jaemin right in front of him.

The elder giggled at Jisung's flustered expression, pecking him on the cheek. "Do you like it? I love makeup but I kinda suck at it, so I asked Kun to do it for me. It's great having a friend that's practically a makeup artist you know,"

Jisung didn't know, but that was okay.

  
He nodded awkwardly, still rather shocked. He didn't know Jaemin could look any more gorgeous than he usually did.

He opened the door to the back seats and climbed in after Jaemin.

"Dad- uh this is Jaemin."

Jaemin looked awkward all of a sudden, glancing between Jisung and his dad but nodded at the man. "Its lovely to meet you."

Jisungs dad smiled back at him. "You too kid. Thanks for making my son happy."

Jaemin widened his eyes when he felt Jisung hold his hand. "Ah- it's my pleasure really."

-

When the two arrived at their school and Jisungs dad had drove off into the night, Jaemin quickly let go of the youngers hand, smiling awkwardly at him again.

"Let's head in and get your friends yeah?"

Jisung nodded, surprising Jaemin as he held his hand as the two entered the school. 

"Are you really doing this tonight Sungie?"

Jisung swallowed back the fear in his throat. He nodded sternly, gripping Jaemin's hand as they entered the hall. Jaemin smiled warmly, leaning himself closer to Jisung as they headed toward Chenle's table.

Jisung could feel the stares already.

Chenle waved at him, his smile dropping a bit as he noticed Jisung holding hands with Jaemin.

"Hey Ji."

Jisung smiled at his best friend, noticing how his girlfriend also looked confused. The few other people at the table that knew Jisung - minus Donghyuck, Donghyuck's boyfriend and Renjun - also looked extremely confused.

They all sat patiently waiting for Jisung to clarify the very obvious sight in front of them.

_Sometimes you gotta say fuck you to other_ _people's_ _opinions Ji._

"This is Jaemin. My boyfriend."

Jaemin felt his heart race, and even though Jisung's hand felt sweaty in his he held on tight.

Donghyuck practically squealed, hugging onto his boyfriends arm tightly. "Jeno-ah~ How cute are they?"

Jeno simply rolled his eyes, laughing at Donghyuck.

Renjun glanced between the new couple and the others at the table, ready to beat someone up if they said shit about his friends.

Chenle smiled warmly. "Lua told me you were gay."

The table stared at Chenle's girlfriend. She slapped his arm, flushing pink. "I said I _thought_ he was gay- and guess what I was right!"

The group laughed, Chenle congratulating his best friend while rubbing his arm playfully. 

Taeyong nodded at Jisung, sipping whatever was in his cup. "Honestly I'm just glad you don't intern at a porn company."

Jisung flushed as Jaemin and Renjun laughed loudly. "I'm sorry I've been missing practices Hyung."

Taeyong smiled, shaking his head. "No I get it - I know what it's like sneaking around with a boy."

The table fell silent again, the music from the dance's speakers blaring around them.

"Suddenly this night got a whole lot more homo."

**Author's Note:**

> title from austin's in betweenin' 
> 
> if you want to scream about nct with me, dm me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/kvncult?s=09) !! (i love making friends <3)


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